You forgot to call a Manager back; “I’m sorry”. Someone gets in your way; “I’m
sorry”. You’re late for a meeting; “I’m sorry”. You couldn’t hear what someone
said; that’s right, “I’m sorry”!
If this sounds like you, you’re not alone. There are a number of factors that have brought us to this place; how you were raised, your cultural or religious background, personality type, your role, the diversity of your team or even how long you have been in the workplace.
Or perhaps it’s a confidence thing. Maybe you feel different to other team members,
you’re a minority in your team, or maybe you think you hold less influence or power
than others.
For generations, women have been taught to value compassion over strength, so in situations that require strength or assertiveness, women worry about hurting someone’s feelings or causing offence and feel they need to soften their words or actions with an apology.
Women tend to apologise for things they don’t need to apologise for; “sorry for the
long wait time” or “sorry, I have another question”. Often this is because we think
apologising makes us more likeable, friendly and approachable and less bossy, overbearing and know-it-all. However, when we apologise to gain approval, we silence our voice to appease someone or avoid confrontation. We are not being our authentic selves who champion our beliefs.
At Programmed, we aim to create productive workplaces where everybody feels valued and like their ideas and contributions matter. Our values of Care and Empathy and Diversity, Inclusion and Equality underpin the idea that we recognise and value everyone’s contribution. We want you to have a voice and share your ideas. We don’t want you to qualify your opinions or undermine the value you bring by apologising when no apology is required.
Apologise if you’re in the wrong, you’ve offended someone or been rude. Stop apologising for having an opinion or being present. Changing the way we communicate can take time. If you want to say thank you, don’t say sorry.